The Nature of Commitment

Martial arts, like any great passion, involves a bit of commitment. One does not excel at the piano or tennis by never practicing chords or serves. In my lifetime, I've seen an increase in apathy, in trust and in commitment.

As a school owner, I'm very aware of people not being able to honor commitments. There are always perfectly good reasons for quitting, for backing out of a commitment, for giving up on martial arts. The word "money" comes up a lot. The word "time" does, too.

In an era where nobody has a car payment of less then $300 per month (and most people own two cars!), it strikes me as strange that spending $600 on those payments, plus insurance plus maintenance is pretty much of a given - yet we won't spend a fraction of that on keeping ourselves or our children in shape!

And how much do we all pay for cable TV or Internet. Or cell phones for each kid?

When it comes to time - the best medical minds today insist that we get 50 minutes of exercise 5 times a week. I heard that on the news yesterday. According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week). And yet, there's no time for fitness in their lives.

Let's be honest - there are a fair amount of people who decide that martial arts isn't for them - or maybe even that the way we teach it isn't for them. That's okay; we can't be all things to everybody and I certainly understand trying something new in order to decide if I like it or not. But don't tell me it's a time or money issue!

Commitment is something that comes hard to modern Americans. We've heard that slightly more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. In 1985, marriages lasted, on average 9.4 years. Today they only make it about 7 years - although some claim this is because of the rise of "starter marriages". Google it if you're curious.

Some might say that this shows we're better informed, more independent, and feel more free to make life changing decisions. I think it's because we've become a society of consumers instead of producers, one that wants exactly what we want and we want it NOW! And we want it until... well, we're tired of it. We wouldn't want to commit beyond that point, would we?

(Hmmm. I wonder if that's related to the fact that in 1970, the whole world owed us money... and 40 years later we owe money to the whole world.)

Are you teaching your children commitment? I do my best at the karate school, to teach my own children and my students. We hold to Black Belt as a tangible, achievable goal, one that will take at least 3 years of committed work. Twice a week. Three years.

If they, as kids, aren't up to it, are you? Parents don't like to force their kids to do anything anymore. There is so much of life to choose from. Why do something you don't like to do? Why make children keep their commitments?

One of my favorite authors, Robert Heinlein, once wrote:

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

I believe in this for my students. To do all of these things well takes commitment. I want my children's marriages to last longer than 7 or even 9 years. I'd like to see them with flexible options for the future, with the ability to work hard at something - not until they get tired, but until they've done their best... and maybe a little bit more. I believe in commitment. What do you believe?