Focus on Fun, Family and Fitness

It's important - particularly in hard times like the present - to not get too caught up in the Gloomy News of the Day. Yes, we've created a horrible money situation in this country. Yes, we're going to be paying for it for years.

No, we don't have to think about it every second of every day.

And we certainly can't base our lives on doom and gloom.

There are always hundreds of choices to be made by each one of us, every day. From huge decisions like re-financing the mortgage to mundane ones like which toothpaste to use. Each one of these decisions contributes to our character - some more, some less. But "who we are" is ultimately determined by the sum of all of these choices.

Are you the Best You that you can be? You've made the choices that brought you to where you are today. Is this where you want to be?

No matter what your beliefs concerning the After Life, we all know that we have the current one for an average of 70 or so years. Far less for an unfortunate few, a little longer for some of us as well. I've always liked the mantra "Live Each Day Like It's Your Last - One day, it will be!" (The cynic in me always asks, "Why would I want to spend today in a hospital bed dying?" Stupid cynic misses the point!)

Are you focusing on having fun with your days? Are you finding the joy of living - or are you trudging through to the weekend, the summer, that next vacation? How much of your life do you truly enjoy - and how much do you simply waste?

Why?

My last post on commitment bemoaned the fact that true commitment is lacking in so much of today's society. It's not something that's talked about very much, almost as if we're afraid to wear such a label in public. I think one of the things that we really have to commit to is having as happy a life as we can, to enjoy the ups and learn from the downs, to share as much of our fortune, knowledge and outlook with others as we can.

For me, as I grow older, staying in shape is what provides the energy for that commitment. That's why our school says Focus on Fun and Fitness. It's about creating or re-creating your self, making the best decisions possible in your life, sharing who we are, having immense energy and a powerful, optimistic viewpoint - becoming the best we can be.

Yes, we have problems. Does anybody believe that these problems will be solved with a negative outlook? By dragging one's self through each horrible day? Will our heroes sit at home, whining and moaning? Will we focus on the Bad News, the terrible tidings of the whole world? Or will we work to make our own Family, our own community, a little better with a positive outlook and a Focus on Fun and Fitness?

The Nature of Commitment

Martial arts, like any great passion, involves a bit of commitment. One does not excel at the piano or tennis by never practicing chords or serves. In my lifetime, I've seen an increase in apathy, in trust and in commitment.

As a school owner, I'm very aware of people not being able to honor commitments. There are always perfectly good reasons for quitting, for backing out of a commitment, for giving up on martial arts. The word "money" comes up a lot. The word "time" does, too.

In an era where nobody has a car payment of less then $300 per month (and most people own two cars!), it strikes me as strange that spending $600 on those payments, plus insurance plus maintenance is pretty much of a given - yet we won't spend a fraction of that on keeping ourselves or our children in shape!

And how much do we all pay for cable TV or Internet. Or cell phones for each kid?

When it comes to time - the best medical minds today insist that we get 50 minutes of exercise 5 times a week. I heard that on the news yesterday. According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week). And yet, there's no time for fitness in their lives.

Let's be honest - there are a fair amount of people who decide that martial arts isn't for them - or maybe even that the way we teach it isn't for them. That's okay; we can't be all things to everybody and I certainly understand trying something new in order to decide if I like it or not. But don't tell me it's a time or money issue!

Commitment is something that comes hard to modern Americans. We've heard that slightly more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. In 1985, marriages lasted, on average 9.4 years. Today they only make it about 7 years - although some claim this is because of the rise of "starter marriages". Google it if you're curious.

Some might say that this shows we're better informed, more independent, and feel more free to make life changing decisions. I think it's because we've become a society of consumers instead of producers, one that wants exactly what we want and we want it NOW! And we want it until... well, we're tired of it. We wouldn't want to commit beyond that point, would we?

(Hmmm. I wonder if that's related to the fact that in 1970, the whole world owed us money... and 40 years later we owe money to the whole world.)

Are you teaching your children commitment? I do my best at the karate school, to teach my own children and my students. We hold to Black Belt as a tangible, achievable goal, one that will take at least 3 years of committed work. Twice a week. Three years.

If they, as kids, aren't up to it, are you? Parents don't like to force their kids to do anything anymore. There is so much of life to choose from. Why do something you don't like to do? Why make children keep their commitments?

One of my favorite authors, Robert Heinlein, once wrote:

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

I believe in this for my students. To do all of these things well takes commitment. I want my children's marriages to last longer than 7 or even 9 years. I'd like to see them with flexible options for the future, with the ability to work hard at something - not until they get tired, but until they've done their best... and maybe a little bit more. I believe in commitment. What do you believe?

What's The Difference?

I was having an interesting discussion last night with a fellow martial artist about the differences between Martial Arts Schools. His point was that, no matter what the particular art is, be it kung fu or karate or MMA, that the important thing is that you are LEARNING. Learning something, anything.

On one hand, I agree. I definitely think "any martial art" is better than "no martial art".

At another level, I look at it in a more selfish way. If I were taking the class, I would want the best teacher possible. My time is valuable and I don't want to spend a lot of it "not learning" in all the ways that bad teachers are capable of providing.

We've all had teachers who don't even know our names, who are more concerned with sounding "professional" than finding out what a student needs. We've all had teachers where the curriculum, the lesson at hand, was more important than the student.

We've all had teachers who were so wrapped up in themselves and the sound of their own voice that they never bothered to listen to ours.

Unfortunately, the model for most traditional karate schools is one where you don't ask questions, you don't imply that you didn't understand the teacher. The teacher is perfect, the teacher knows all - and it is disrespectful to even question him.

I think that's where we're a lot different than most schools. We know the students' names. We try and find out their goals. We encourage their questions.

Yes, this means that we get the occasional student who wants to derail the education process with inane questions, but we've found that most of our students are truly interested in learning more and performing at the best of their abilities.

Yes, questioning our "supreme authority" by having the audacity to question our knowledge is a little non-traditional - but we like it.

The best teachers always have a thirst for greater knowledge and it's amazing how our students can come up with different ways of looking at things, different paths to the same goal.

Keep those questions coming. This is the best school around... but only because we're always getting better.